Win some Lambrini

Back from Wales and an ambassador’s reception at SD towers to celebrate a beloved’s birthday.

Did I buy a mess of bottle-conditioned ales or brew up a barrel of Russian Imperial stout? Of course not. I went to the brilliant Portland Wine Cellars and haggled an 18-bottle crate of Heineken (500ml) for £14 (£2 deposit on the crate) and six bottles of South African wine guaranteed to cut through the spiciest BBQ sauce.

After the lovely day ended in pie-eyed disgrace, all that remained was a bottle of Lambrini – the 7.5% sparkling perry produced by gut-rot specialists Halewood International.   

Part of me wants to drink this, another wants to share. 

I will send the bottle to the first person who can tell me what I should do next with my life, or who can provide some sort of wisdom or philosophy of happiness. Comments please.

Meanwhile, the Labrini website is well worth checking out (sound on). The best part of it is an interactive section which promises to teach us to do the Lambrini dance.

Young, funkily-dressed yet curiously plain girls take us through the steps in semi-pornographic fashion as you click happily away, day-dreaming about the availability of average women of loose morals lubricated by cheap alcohol.